Aren’t toddlers such interesting and powerful little creatures?
Hahaaa! I can feel the eye rolls, head nods, smirks and exasperation. I’m with ya, Mama.
But our majestic wee ones can teach us so much.
Vyla, our precious and precocious four-year-old, is downright hilarious. She is also maddening. Yesterday I was at the girl’s school for a meeting. (It’s a super sweet Mexican school here in the small town of San Pancho.) I was sitting in the outdoor palapa while kids were running around helter-skelter, taking part in an exciting Easter egg hunt. Their school is little, and I saw most kids passing by, having such fun, but not Vyla. Come to find out, Vy missed the Easter egg hunt because she passed out into a deep slumber after getting a talking to for pushing her buddy, Maverick. I asked her why she pushed (the very kind and gentle) Mavi, and at first she told me it was because he hadn’t showered (huh? Vy wouldn’t shower at all if it wasn’t a necessity), and every answer thereafter was more confusing than the one before. We talked about the ins and outs of pushing, hitting, hurting, and I hope that she’ll steer clear of laying her little paws on any of her preschool cronies again. Eek.
Fast forward to later in the afternoon. We took the kids to the beach. Vyla was playing with three-year-old Salma (whom we adore). They laughed and skipped around and had so much fun. Until they didn’t. And did. And didn’t again. First, it was that Salma had less water in her bucket than Vyla. Salma freaked. Then Vyla went ballistic, concerned that her bucket was nearly empty. Oh, the tears…the drama!
A few minutes later, Vyla was explaining something in a very matter-of-fact tone. Salma didn’t like it. She kept telling Vyla that she was mean over and over. (I was choking down my laughter at this point.) Vyla could’ve cared less. She ignored her friend entirely.
Quickly that was forgotten, and we went down to the water to jump the waves and watch Zella play in the rough surf. Both girls tried to hurdle over the waves as they lapped up on shore squealing with delight and not a care in the world. Until one wave was too strong and Salma got wet. She lost it. Then Vyla screeched, deciding that she needed out of her wet suit immediately. And so it went.
And so it goes with our dear toddlers.
The beach outing ended on a high note, fortunately. The girls happily skipped their sweet small bodies across the sand finding more treasures before sunset.
Today served as a reminder to me that toddlers are NOOOOT shy about their feelings. They can swing back and forth between a hissy fit to a happy dance in the matter of mere seconds. And while this can be exhausting and adorable, it’s also often baffling because we’re so far from that state of being. Our littles are newer to this planet, and they haven’t learned to play by the so-called rules yet. But we’ve mastered the unspoken regulations. Most of us don’t dance with glee in the middle of a busy street or plop our tired bodies down on the ground because it’s just time to rest.
But lately, I’ve been watching Vyla in wonder, and I want to channel her state of pure presence and bliss. How amazing to wake up in the morning with so much excitement about the day ahead (perhaps not about getting dressed or eating breakfast, but a general zest for all the fun that awaits). She pops out of her slumber, acting like a kitty cat with some fantastic imaginary scenario that we’re both a part of, and voila, her day has begun. Vyla laughs a lot. She cries a lot. She’s curious about everything. While I plow forward in route to our next destination, Vy stops us and picks up flowers or leaves or some random finding on the ground, completely absorbed in the moment. And on the flipside, when she’s pissed, she lets it be heard. My girl asks for what she wants. It often doesn’t seem reasonable, but Vyla does not shy away—even for a moment—from what she desires. Once I get past the inconvenience of her outbursts, I am inspired by her certainty and confidence. And especially by how she’s completely unconcerned by what others think. The way she shows up encourages me to unravel my past people-pleasing conditioning and follow her lead.
I muse over the ever-important question, how can I be more myself?
And what, on the other hand, makes me want to launch into a fuming fit?
Some answers rush forth and others take a while to rise to the surface.
When I ponder how I can be more myself, the question alone invites me to breathe deeper and brings a sweet sense of relief. Honoring this crazy and wonderful journey by accepting myself exactly as I am today and feeding my soul with more of what I love is where I start.
In terms of what drives me mad…rushing around drives me bonkers. So do being overscheduled, technological hassles, and a deeply dirty house (that will take forever to get back in order—gah!). I’m also not too keen on reading lengthy instructions, people talking over one another, or overly processed food. Ignorance and racism make me want to have a full-fledged, outrageous tantrum.
And then, the fun question, what urges me to do a joyful happy dance?
Hearing my kiddos giggle, traveling, delightful morning lattes, bonding with my nearest and dearest, nutritious and delicious food, walking on the beach, beautiful spaces and places, date nights with my husband, alone time, the way I feel after teaching yoga, good sushi, and sleeping in.
How about you?
And (pretty) PLEASE take a moment to consider. Jot down your answers so you’re more solid on what lights you up and what brings you down. Having these answers in our back pocket is powerful business. You’ll know what to say NO to and what to yell a big fat YES at. As my friend Kym has taught me, if it’s not a “Hell yes, then it’s a no!” I love this. It’s such a great barometer. For example, do you want to add that commitment to your life right now? If you are excited and your inner compass says, “Hell yes!” then go for it, Mama! But if you pause and waffle, it’s a no and totally unnecessary to second guess.
So, my friend, ask yourself these potent questions:
How can I tap into my true nature and be more myself?
What makes me want to scream and flail my body around? (Dig on in!)
What makes me feel like a kid in a candy store with no limits?
Let’s give ourselves complete permission to enjoy the freedom that comes with being true to ourselves, leaning into what lights us up and disregarding what drives us nuts.
Here’s to channeling our inner toddlers…
I’m raising my latte and sending a huge cheers out to us all!
