Oh Mama,
I have a feeling that you, like me, are highly skilled at doing, going, and being SO many things to SO many people. You can get things done like a boss. I know I’m right. And do you tell yourself that you’ll relax after “this…,” that you’ll take care of yourself after “that?” And how’s that going for you, Mama?
The thing is, our lists are never (EVER!) done. What a darn pisser that is! I have spent the majority of my life believing that I will get it all done and that once I do (this “special” time around) it will feel magical, and then I can begin that uber-perfect life I’ve always dreamt of. The one where I have a sparkly clean, gorgeous home, and, of course, all the toys are placed back in their places, and there’s not a spot of clutter to be found, and where, at that spectacular moment, I lie in my quiet home on my perfectly fluffed couch cushions, and I read peacefully (because no chitlens are asking me for one single thing) until I drift off into a luxurious afternoon siesta that is not interrupted (not even once!) until I leisurely wake ON MY OWN.
Hahahaaaa!
I think sometimes we live like we have five more lives waiting around the corner. And while we sure as heck may have a whole slew of interesting lives for the future, none are THIS LIFE and don’t entail this awesome family.
So, what to do? (See, there’s that word “do” again. Ugh.)
We start to treat this life as the crazy, precious journey it is, and we straight up embrace it in all its messiness through PRESENCE. We decide what’s really a priority and let the other stuff fall away.
What can you set aside for now, so you can really BE with your babe(s)?
Our kiddos are geniuses at living in the moment, enjoying each passing flower, bug, worm, stone, and (often with my littles) piece of trash along the way (my youngest sees a wide variety of garbage as her “treasures”).
Let’s start seeing our sons and daughters as the teachers they are. Follow their lead. Smell the flower. Check out that random insect. Enjoy the jewels they collect. Drink in their dirty face, their infectious laugh, their adorable body as they take in the world. And share their enthusiasm and inspiration.
It’s a practice. It’s challenging. We’re all so darn gifted at this doing business. But to be, to really be in the moment with what’s happening, is one of the most essential practices we will ever do. It’s definitely the most rewarding.
While we’re still breathing there likely won’t be a time where we get to throw in the towel and stop doing for any extended period of time. There will always be dishes waiting, laundry to be tended to, hungry mouths to be fed (and as we know, that’s just the tip of the iceberg).
So how about we practice being, really BEING, inside the doing, so the doing is more conscious.
Yesterday, my girls got all excited to make a big picnic on our giant trampoline. It entailed so many dishes. I have to do them all by hand because dishwashers are a rarity in Mexico. (Eek, the dishes never end here, y’all.) So I let out a deep sigh while they ran with their empowered food prep. The messes were intense. I forced myself to turn a blind eye. They were having SO. MUCH. FUN. I consciously flipped my switch from the doing to the being realm and took part and enjoyed their process. I allowed myself to lie on the trampoline and munch on leftover pancakes and fresh veggies with massive dipping options and sip a little kombucha. They giggled and played their make-believe scenarios and had a blast. Their joy made me content.
The picnics, the constant picking of flowers and special treasures, the middle of the night snuggles, none of it will last forever, and it is all so priceless. I am constantly reminding myself to drink it all in and cherish it.
As you walk into the rest of today, see how it feels to settle in a little deeper to the here and now and BE, and soak up the joy or challenge of the moment that presents. It might mean waking up a smidge earlier so that there’s less rush. It might mean leaving some dishes in the sink for later. And it might mean that you don’t return that handful of texts right now. But that’s okay. Our lives are worth it!
